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Family

Me and my brother were best friends growing up. Technically he was 6 years younger than me but he was always the same age to me. We did everything together and we were treated equally. We showered together, slept together and played the rest of the day. It is un-comprehend- able to me to imagine a better friend or one I was able to get along with and enjoy more. If he were the only friend I ever had growing up I would still feel fulfilled and be thankful. No matter what anyone else thought of me I would be OK because I had my family who loved, accepted and supported me for what was important to me. Many realities come into life and its all part of it. For me family is important and even when we didn't get along or even when it wasn't enjoyable it is still extremely effecting. Like or dislike your family its effecting and shaping of who we are. That is why having a family that frees and supports each other is so beneficial to the rest of life.

Its so easy to place our preferences and points of view on others especially when they are in our family. To remember that we are all different and it is through our unique perspective and skill set that we tape into our genius. That when one is happy everything is right and when one is unhappy everything is wrong. This is why its so silly to base importance on "appearance" "status" "money" "education" or anything else that is not derived from an inner inspiration and fulfillment.

We are of course free to be and choose anything. Its all OK and we all are where we are.

Blessings on the journey


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LIVING!

I find unschoolers are confident about lots of things! When in an unschooled family, family life is quite huge. Because we are around each other so much family IS life. My sister has always loved kids and talked about having them since she could talk. I myself have not had much interest in it. For me if and when I started a family I would want to be present and have family be my life. Life is always changing though and whats important is doing whats important when its important. Just cause someone as a kid talks about having a family doesn't mean at 18 they will have a family...maybe by playing with a prospect as a kid enough of it is experienced to either not do it at all or at a much later time. That is why play and experimentation is so important. Because we can play with all of life and experience it in a way where we understand what its about and can choose consciously whats important and whats not when it is or it isn't.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH freeeeedom!
<3

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Whats important

I think its important to base ones decisions on what feels good/fair/abundant. I think its important for individuals even kids to be responsible for what they are partaking in.
I think as a parent that if you enjoy cleaning up after your kids and making them food then that is wonderful for all involved!! If you dont anymore or are enjoying something else I think that we are all capable of preparing our food and if we arent its worth being capable of!! Same for cleaning up our dishes, or washing our cloths, finding enjoyment, figuring stuff out or paying for our car. This doesnt mean that a parent cant contribute any of those things. As kids evolve in there life so can a parent. A parent at one point can love taking care of everything.. ...food, cloths, cleaning carrying and all things important.
It is then common for a child to decide it no longer needs to be carried everywhere and wants to direct its own physical path via its hands and knees. It then decides it wants to eat more than just mothers milk. Then decides to give up milk and knees moving to feet and solid foods. Starts pooing and peing on its own while also taking care of the mess! A child may even choose to want something more than the warmth of a mothers arms.
As we evolve what we desire changes and our situation around us also changes.
It is amazing that one desires more than a mothers love and nurturing but it is fun to sail the oceans, climb the trees, eat food grown in ones own garden, massage and be massaged.... ..It is wonderful to be free as parents and as children to be free to do what feels good and be supported in that process.

"Unschooling"

Whats most important to understand about this is that "unschooling" is not a system nor a program. It is a way of life it is an understanding and engaging of life. We are all different and so are our kids. My sister has been working almost full time jobs since she was 15. I have worked only a few and not 1 in many many years. I learned to read at 9 my brother not until 14.
"unchooling" is not about right or wrong, legal or e legal, its not about shoulds, have to's and supposed to be's. Its also not about having kids with no respect or responsibility. Its about treating a child equally not less or more. Its also about an opportunity to re invent life or experience it from a new freeer perspective because of a child who has way less baggage and attachment to what is. When a being understands responsibility and respect all things work out and there is no need to deal with each situation with rules and agenda. It just falls into place nicely.
This is a deeply spiritual experience this is about real understanding and experience in life. This is about living in a way that is free and supportive of what matters. When this is what if focused upon all the crap disappears.
Blessings

Inner Guidence System

If you want more than what feels good for your child (or for your self for that matter), more than what they enjoy doing, I highly recommend reconsidering perspective, expectation and attachment. A child's inner guidance system is highly sensitive and in tune.
For it is enjoyment, freedom to choose that which is important that makes life fulfilling. While simultaneously activating genius and success.
Then as an inspiration and source of motivation this perspective can be integrated by child's example!
It definitely makes it easier knowing this as a parent, when your child isnt reading by 14 ;-) but allowing for the sake of enjoyment is important enough.

Atachment

When parenting, let go of your attachment to what is beneficial for them and allow them to process it on there own. The reality is that EVEN IF you do know something they don't, that if they do not get in touch with it through there own process of life it will not be powerful. You can be an example for what you believe to be important and either they will learn from you at some point or you will learn from them. Manipulating, pushing, quilting or other forms of persuasion are also out! As long as you are constantly trying to "teach" unschooling is not being lived.

Freedom in choice, Enhancement of ability

It is very dangerous to assume that you know what a right choice is for others.
Most parents make the mistake of assuming they are more capable of "right" choices than kids. the reality is that kids are far more capable than adults for they have much less baggage and a cleaner more focused perspective.
Being a parent is a wonderful opportunity to RE-consider life, perspective, choice and possibilities.
I have a very powerful story please read it.
When my mom was pregnant with me she had plans to go back to work and to put me in school. It was when I was born that she realized I was infinite potential and that it was an opportunity to experience life through fresh, alive, and free eyes rather than FEAR, DOUBT, LIMIT, RESTRICTION, RULES
She then knew she would not be going back to work nor would I be going to school unless I so happened to want that. She then told my dad her realization and decision. She said you can either support, and nurture this process or you can choose a different life with different people.
Having kids is not playing house with dolls. These are people who will enjoy and be benefited by freedom. If you have problems with your husband find a way to enjoy each other or just agree to be together as far as the kids are concerned.
Everyone has baggage, fear, doubt, and misery loves company. That is why having a child is such a wonderful divine blessing of new life not just for the child but for the parents.
It is OK. There is nothing we have to be and even if you choose to control your kids life or allow there lives to be controlled by someone else, forgiveness always exists. The reality is that living a life in freedom is far more enjoyable. Its not about doing it because its right or if you dint you are wrong. Its about doing it because it feels good, and why keep living in a way that doesn't.

Capable Now!

I had my own room and it was always my choice to have it in whatever condition I wanted, That means clean or dirty painted red or black used or un used. If my mom ever cleaned it, it was because she wanted to and if she didn't then she didn't. Children can only be responsible when they have responsibility. It is a divine paradox and it either is or isn't. As long as children are treated like children they will be so. To try and deal with each situation is much harder than just dealing with the reality of being responsible. When we come at life from self it is much more efficient and enjoyable then trying to take care of others, choose for others, decide for others, figure out for others, control others, be responsible for others.
When we only contribute what we feel good about contributing for the sake of it then there are no issues because it is unconditional and done for the experience of it. It is not worth doing in my mind otherwise.
We are all capable right now. Activate it

Do what you love, Love what you do

Follow your bliss, Do what you love, Love what you do. Without this life isn't much worth living. Focus on whats important rather than whats expected, right, wrong, better, or worse. There is NOTHING we have to be and EVERYTHING is possible.
We are capable of finding enjoyment in life. We just need freedom to engage and it will naturally come. If it doesn't then that's how it is and it will change when it does. If its not flowing then consider a new path.
Blessings

To Each Our Own

I don't feel like you can "make any one fulfilled" I don't feel like it is something worth trying to do either.
I also don't think enforcement of rules such as bed times or brushing of teeth is a healthy abundant path. I think talking about aspects of life is healthy and that if parents go to bed at a certain time that respect for there sleep time is important. There is a big difference between saying this is when we go to bed and so you have to too and we are going to bed so being quiet is a given so as the sleep time is peaceful. There is a big difference between saying I enjoy getting up in the morning so I have a full bright day to get things done and saying if you don't get up in the morning you wont get anything done, its important and you have to. So this same philosophy applies to everything I think. This is how it is for me you choose how it is for you and we respect each others differences and help each other out with whats important for us. Support not babying. Respect not enforcement.
Blessings!
Quinn

Infinite Potential

Children are capable from birth of dealing with large tasks and taking responsibility. It is the parents that are not used to allowing this. When a child is born it is pure potential and just because it cant feed it self doesn't mean it doesn't know what it wants or that it inst already taking on huge tasks. In fact being born is quite a task.
When you think you are in charge of a children decisions I highly recommend re considering that.
It is precisely this concept that separates me from most schooled children and many home schooled children. I always decided what was important and how I chose to go about doing that. I decided when to go to bed and when to get up, I decided when to brush my teeth and when not to. I decided if I wanted to spend the night at a friends and for how long it would be, I decided when I wanted to go to school or collage and what age I wanted to. I decided when I wanted to try alcohol, I decided when I wanted to try smoking, I decided when I wanted to have sex. I was constantly shouldering responsibility and making choices. This is why when I go over to a friends house the parents always tell my parents "your child is so helpful, or your child is so easy to have over" I was on month long vacations away from home by age 11. I was interested in cigarettes when I was 10. Me and my brother/sister would find old cigarette buts and pretend to smoke them. My mom decided that she would rather buy us a pack than have us picking up random smoked butts. I have not only not been addicted to cigarettes but have not been addicted to anything...besides air, food, and water.
It starts NOW and we are Capable NOW!
Blessings

Responsibility/Respect

I always grew up having the same power of choice as my parents. I was always treated as though I was capable of all adult content and I have always been so. When I was 2 I had 16 year old friends when I was 12 I had 24 year old friends when I was 18 I had 40-60 year old friends and I could always interact with any age and any subject.
My brother was watching rated R movies at 4 years old. We haven't ever had a problem with drugs, alcohol, sex, violence or anything that parents are always trying to PROTECT there kids from. Capability responsibility and awareness of choice are the best protection in the world!!!!!!!